Eds

Primordial Blog

place

I made an new twitter account for my soup of things

Just watched Dune 1+2 multiple times each, going ultra delusionsal mode and i can see a path to reach my ideal future

Writing things 05/03/24

most of what ive just written doesnt make sense i need to edit it. My notes at the moment are that i'm being too self referential which i think is a common theme in my thoughts and i actually need to let go of this way of thinking becuase nobody cares. i like writing to the website live and updating the live version.

I think im gonna change up the website again soon to seperate the things i write, the art i make and the mediums i do them in. I would also say at this stage of the game I have no idea what I want to write but I want to pursue being a writer [so pretentious]. Which is kind of funny because i already cant read my last blogpost which when i wrote it i thought it was very real and emotionally raw, so because i thought that i'm sticking to it and not taking it down but now i'm already cringing. It's good to have the blog that I can update as like a stream of consciousness and its good that i'm keeping mostly untouched as the website continues. I added the below buttons to these two writing things that could easily be blogposts of a different kind. But due to the way im organising the site at the minute, they are both in the "art" section.

Writing| Recommendations - 2024

Random collection of recommendations for things that are underrated/interesting and are worth checking out

|Open|

Recipe| Hot Chocolate with a Twist: or The Edward - 2024

Recipe for an alcoholic drink I have invented, but actually haven't invented it, it did exist before I made it i just discovered its existence. To be entirely accurate

|Open|

What 21/02/2024

When a DS cartridge gets old the contact points wear away.The signal between the console and the cartridge doesnt work. i feel like if my brain was a DS i experience this with my emotions. occasionally my contact points are loose and i miss the emotion that i should be feeling. most times this doesn't affect me or it makes for a mildly awkward situation where my vibe has come in way off from where it's supposed to be. Whats worse than feeling sadness is when you know you should be sad, your brain is logically doing the math, but you feel nothing. Atleast there would be some authenticity.

I worry that I have trained myself to become a master manipulator by emulating what i think others would think i would be feeling.I don't know to what end i would be doing this and i'm not really convinced by it. I do have emotions, just a slighlty nebulous relationship with them and im certainly not a master .I still can't cry. I crave to be able to cry because it feels like it may be a release or a comfort that i am a functioning human, perhaps I could delve into my feelings on my masculinity(wholey confused). I'm told i didn't cry as a baby. My partner thinks im autistic and they're probably not wrong, i like people who tend to be right about stuff and i love them so much.

My ex best friend told me that my name came up in their therapy session as someone they admired; he was going through some inter-personal strife. The therapist asked, what do you think Ed would do in this situation? he replied, "nothing good" and we had a laugh about that because he was probably right.

During an emotionally frought moment, I remember asking my ex partner honestly what do you think about me. Something about the way i asked it, in a frenzy or something, led to them not answering. i don't know what you want me to say. i don't know either. i don't know what kind of person i am. we had become very entwined as people and i was scaring them i think. At that point i had allocated myself a very low level of self esteem and I hadn't realised. When you think nothing of yourself you don't really think you can do any damage (or good) to the people around you. But obviously you can and I have. im reading this in a very self pitying way wow woe is me woe is me, nobody really cares that woe is you because everyone has woe and I think thats okay.

When i was 16, i don't know if i had low iron, i used to fall over and feel my tongue get bigger and taste funny in my mouth. i would lose my vision and my balance for a few seconds and whenever i came out of that it was like i had to reaffirm my position on the earth. what my name is where i am, what's most important to me. When it first happened i thought about my then girlfriend and her position in relation to mine on the circumference of the earth - what does that say? I don't care i'm 23 now.

I do not enjoy titling things 07/09/2023

Just this blog entry alone was quite difficult to title because i am talking about writing. I am not very good at grammar or syntax or punctuation and probably all 3. But i dont dislike writing because its a fun activity. I made a new area on the website called Niblets, it is currently a selection of three small audio/visual projects that ive made since leaving university. This relates to the point of titling because when you give something a title you end up putting a notion of something into the viewer when they read it, like if you paint a vase of flowers and call it sadness people will think oh no the plants are for someone who died. But if you call it Happiness its instead flowers for a wedding or something happy. I'd rather not title some things and just let someone see it. Untitled works are a thing. So in short i didnt know what to name any of the 3 niblets.

My attempted Webseries about an alien, that i am updating whenever i have time, has sort of become quite cringe inducing to me. This is both a problem because ive been wanting to finish it for ages and because I cant bring myself to delete it, i have to see it through. I think it will require more rewriting and a small deal more effort then i would like. It will get finished and it hopefully wont make be too cringe by the time its done. to be fair i havent worked on this website or its contents for basically 3 months (ive litterally been busy doing cooler stuff).i hope my humour translates into my writing, because there's nothing cooler than having a website.

SOUP 28/06/23

I totally understand how people can abandon their websites its not like a cat or a dog where it comes up to you asking for food you have to actually remember to update it. My main project at the moment is the Alien Egg/SoupOS Webseries/story. I have totally abandoned game making for the moment, it's become clear to me that I should only focus on one thing at a time and not stress about how long it's taking me to do it. I had some insane notions that i wanted to turn this website into a career launchpad somehow but i much prefer having this as a more chill space and i dont need to put that pressure on myself. I'm just letting things develop naturally I guess. See below the latest bit of lore for the alien egg webseries and a link to check it out.

Alien Egg Home Page

Just had a reshuffle of the website | The Haus of Cooper Kunt 16/05/2023

Its nice to change the website up, it looks really simple on mobile, but i'm just happy that it looks good on both desktop and mobile. I've been pretty busy recently but I have some new ideas. I'm aiming to develop the alien story into more of a webseries, with more time put into it.

This month I filmed the haus of Cooper Kunt, an amazingly talented drag family based in edinborough. The show was a mock version of the coronation of King Charles; including a Trans Zombie Diana and a full on beheading of the King. This was the first time that i have shot for an event and i was very glad to have been a little part of it.

https://www.instagram.com/cooperkunt/

New Art!| Lighthouse and a pigeon 07/04/2023

if you like my art check out my instagram because i update that first, and i attach music to each of the posts! :) I like having this blog section of the website update when any part of the website changesso im going to keep announcing new drawings in blogs.

Something to Read!| No Good Alone 04/04/23

just read this essay from rayne fisher-quann about isolation and unhelpful internet trends to do with self optimisation. I dont really read much and i just so happened to read this and thought it was good so wanted to share it

Link!

New art!| The Long Goodbye 31/03/23

The Long Goodbye is one of my favourite films that i have seen recently. Marlowe is a great character and the sequence that this shot is from is pretty much just him getting food for his cat but its a great introduction to his character.

New art!| My enterprise bridge -24/03/23

Star Trek Next Generation inspired bridge. on a roll with star trek stuff, i liked how this turned out so have put it on the art page of the website. The alien is still being updated and was updated today, so keep checking in for progress for sure something's going down with that

Next Generation game early concept art - 22/03/23

This is a bit of a devblog for a star trek game. Release date currently unknowable but stay tuned for updates. Development has begun see below a drawing of picard that will be in the game, i'm keeping details light on purpose because we dont know how much is possible, its all still being planned. It should be a pretty light enjoyable RPG is the current aim.

The Alien Egg -18/03/23

I was hoping my next update would be about a possible game in development, but it is in fact about the alien that i have incubating in my house. Study of the alien has come on leaps and bounds, the research page is truly a fascinating read. see below a picture of the alien.

The Egg Research Page

My eutopia -16/03/23

I want to make writing in this blog a habit so i actully do it more. Drawing has slowed down because i have been learning GameMaker.

Find below my marvel of city design; BumChum County. Completey traversable by public transit it is my best city to date. The final picture in the series is the mayors palace, where i would reside. The Emporor's palace is furnished with a zen relaxation garden and a beach volleyball court.

Dissolution of the monasteries -09/03/23

When Henry the eight[see below pictured with myself] came to power he renounced papal authority and established the Church of England. Upon doing this he sacked all of the vatican properties in the realm leading to the destruction and ruin of many culturally significant monasteries. These buildings had loads of libraries and information and its interesting to think about what was lost in this period. I became pretty interested in this time after hearing my grandad talk about monastery pilgrimages across the UK, and visiting Kirkstall Abbey in Leeds. See below Kirkstall Abbey.

Zineth! -05/03/2023

i want to share this game, Zineth

First post/about me -04/03/2023

Ed's primordial soup was made by me(see below) to have a place to showcase my art and other creative projects.

I currently do drawing, animating and now basic webdesign. making this website is super fun.

Ive got some ideas for other stuff i want to do with primordial soup, not sure in what capactity yet but a video game seems likely

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